Forgiving Doesn’t Mean You Forget

And it doesn’t mean they were ever worthy of your trust again.

I used to think that forgiveness meant wiping the slate clean.

Letting go. Moving on. Forgetting.

But that’s not how real life works.

Not when you’ve been hurt deeply.

Not when you’ve had to rebuild yourself from pieces you didn’t break.

Here’s the truth:

You can forgive someone and still remember exactly what happened.

You should remember.

Because if you forget, how do you protect yourself next time?

How do you recognize the signs before it happens again?

Forgiveness isn’t about pretending it didn’t hurt.

It’s about deciding that you don’t want to carry their choices on your back anymore.

It’s laying down the weight of someone else’s wrong—without erasing the memory of what it cost you.

Pain doesn’t always disappear when you forgive.

Sometimes, it still shows up at 2 a.m.

Sometimes, you still flinch when something reminds you.

But the difference is:

You’re not stuck there.

Forgiveness can’t change the past, but it opens up the future.

It creates space for something new to grow.

And here’s something that might ruffle a few feathers:

Not everyone deserves your forgiveness.

Some people don’t get to come back.

Some people don’t get a neat little bow tied on their harm.

That’s not you being petty. That’s you protecting the version of yourself you’re still learning to love.

You can forgive without ever saying the words out loud.

You can heal without inviting them back in.

You can choose yourself, every single time.

That’s not cruel.

That’s wisdom.

That’s survival.

You get to decide what peace looks like.

You get to say: “I remember…and that’s why I’m doing better now.”

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If this hit you right in the chest, I see you.

You’re not alone.

Feel free to like, reply, share, or just let it sit with you awhile.

With care,

Wendy (Your Auntie Spoonie 🥄🫶)